Darkness, Confusion, and Redemption
by Blue-eyes-magic
Summary: Too many lessons, too many point of views clumped together in his head, he’d been taught to be light…but...


Darkness, Confusion, and Redemption

Spoilers for Revenge of the Sith, so if you haven't seen it, you may not want to read this.

Just Anakin/ Vader's random thoughts during parts of Revenge of the Sith and Return of the Jedi…this is my first Star Wars attempt…so don't hurt me, I tried…

* * *

Anakin looked, there was a red saber on one side, and a blue on the other. 

"Kill him," Palpatine hissed in his ear, a look appearing on his pale face that twisted up his features making him look psychotic and thirsty for blood.

Red/ blue, light/dark, logic/emotions, it was giving Anakin a headache that wasn't going to let up.

"I want to," Anakin began looking at the red one, getting lost in the creepy aura that seemed to surround it.

_Dark- a. Lacking or having very little light: _a dark corner.

Little light, no light…why not?

Not the ways of a Jedi.

"But I shouldn't," Anakin said shaking his head and turning his glace to the blue saber that he recognized as his own, looking at it made him feel safe.

_Light- A state of awareness or understanding, especially as derived from a particular source: _in the light of experience.

Awareness, understanding…such good qualities…why not?

It's not what he wants.

"Kill him!" Palpatine ordered again, but Anakin wasn't interested.

There were too many definitions, too many lessons, too many point of views clumped together in his head, he'd been taught to be light…

_Light- Intended primarily as entertainment; not serious or profound: _a light comedy.

But he wanted to be taken seriously, he wanted to have desires...

_Dark-_ _Having richness or depth: _a dark, melancholy vocal tone.

This was getting confusing, it made no sense, how could he possibly be good, when all he wanted was darkness.

"_Anger leads to hate, hate leads to the dark side of the force."_

Don't give into the dark side…

_Dark- __Of a shade tending toward black in comparison with other shades_

But would it really be so bad?

_Light- The prospect of success, relief, or escape after strenuous effort._

Light

"Kill him!"

Dark

Anakin looked down at Dooku's face and saw fear in his eyes, Anakin close his eyes briefly, he couldn't kill this man, and he was silently pleading for his life.

Good

But he has hurt, murdered so many people, would his death be such a bad thing?

Bad

_Dark- Concealed or secret; mysterious_

_Light- A person who inspires or is adored by another: _My daughter is the light of my life.

_Dark- Sullen or threatening_

_Light- The principle of moral rightness; equity_

_Or both? _

Anakin decided, that both, was all he could do, he brought the light and dark together, the blue and the red, when they met, Dooku's head was severed and Anakin felt something in him that sickened him at first.

"I shouldn't have done that," he said nervously.

It was too late, even in the back of Anakin's mind he knew it was useless for in all places and times there were three things.

There was the past.

_Light- Logic, Selfless, Kind, Caring, Good, Hope, Pride, Joy_

Blue

The present…

_Grey- Neutral, in the middle, undecided, confused_

Blue

And the future…

_Dark- Passion, Anger, Hatred, Selfish, Power, Pain_

Red

* * *

Anakin watched…this was the Emperor's job, turning people to the dark side, giving them a taste of what they soon are addicted to, power, or at least the illusion of power, for you are never in control, only the Emperor. 

It was his son that stood before the Emperor, looking out the window as the rebellion tried aimlessly to destroy the Death Star, they just didn't understand, they'd already lost.

"I can feel the hate flowing through you, take your weapon and strike me down," the Emperor taunted.

Luke looked back at the Emperor; his eyes harboured that same confusion, would he wield a lightsaber of green, or change it to red?

His eyes were blue, it was odd really that, that was the first thing he noticed about his long lost son, it was rather strange, since neither his nor Padme's eyes had been blue. His hair was longer thanexpected since he was part of a rebellion, and had been turned into a sandy colour from the sun. Those eyes, so pure, almost innocent like, but not quite.

Luke looked to me.

_Dark- Marked by anger or sullenness_

He wanted to kill him.

_Light- a set of beliefs, values, and practices based on the teachings of a spiritual leader._

But everyone has that feeling sometimes, it doesn't mean they do, Anakin didn't like it, as much as the dark side had corrupted his mind the tie to his family was still there, the love for Padme, was still there, but buried.

In a flashLuke's lightsaber was ignited and swinging towards the Emperor, and in a flash Anakin's blocked it. He didn't kill him, not yet.

Still Green.

They fought, father and son, Luke staying green, Anakin still red, neither willing to say they are wrong, but know that both can't be right.

"So you have a twin sister, your thoughts have now betrayed her as well," Vader taunted, even though Anakin was thinking, it wasn't Anakin speaking.

Luke lashed out, his rage, his hatred, being used in every blow until Vader found himself on the ground, one hand gone, and staring up into the angry eyes of his son.

Red.

Luke stopped and threw his weapon to the ground. Anakin blinked behind his mask, his next moments fuzzy, one voice breaking through the haze.

"Then so be it…Jedi," The Emperor spat and bolts of lightning threw Luke backwards, his body convulsing.

So it was Green after all.

"Father, help me! Please!" Luke begged as another wave of lightning hit him, causing him to collapse on the floor, his body still twisting and turning, "Please!"

Anakin didn't know what to do, Vader had always ruled in his body, and now that he felt as though he had some control over his actions, he felt weak and vulnerable.

_Dark- Cheerless and depressing; gloomy: _black thoughts.

_Light- A wish or desire accompanied by confident expectation of its fulfillment._

_Dark_- _Evil; wicked_

_Light- Being positive or desirable in nature_

Light seemed obvious, yet Anakin wasn't sure he was ready to exist outside of Vader.

Luke looked up to his father, "Help me!"

There's the past…

_Dark Passion, Anger, Hatred, Selfish, Power, Pain_

There's the present…

_Grey Neutral, in the middle, undecided, confused_

And then the future…

_Light Logic, Selfless, Kind, Caring, Good, Hope, Pride, Joy_

Anakin watched as the Emperor fell and then collapsed as Luke struggled to his feet to help him leave.

Maybe he wasn't the Chosen one, but maybe he was blue after all.

* * *

Fin :) 


End file.
